Escorted down the aisle by two supporters, Kennedy Wiley approached the “altar” and made a promise to a very special person — herself.
“I vow to return to myself daily — to my truth, my joy, my healing,” she said, looking into the mirror. “I am not perfect, but I am worthy. I am not broken, but I am becoming. This is my sacred promise: to show up for myself — always.”
Kennedy turned and accepted her wedding band. She is now committed to a life of love, growth and happiness.
That’s the idea TyKesha Cross shared with leaders from a Conway-based nonprofit to help 52 Pine Bluff High School students commit to healthy relationships, reaching goals, self-preservation and self-love. They participated in a wedding-style ceremony called “Build to Last” at the Wilma Anderson Center, formerly a Masonic Temple on Dollarway Road, on Tuesday.
Cross, a business teacher at PBHS, taught a class on banking when Choosing to Excel director Crystal West came along for the project. Cross said West’s concept of deposits and withdrawals were totally different from hers.
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“You have to be careful about how people deposit things into you,” Cross said. “People can deposit negative things into your life, and those things can cause the trajectory of your life to change. She also talked about how people can deposit positive things in your life, and so those people will actually water you and even make your course even easier.”
An idea clicked in their minds to marry the concepts together. Hence, a ballroom turned into a reception hall complete with guests, a saxophonist, a DJ and a three-tier wedding cake. The plan was for teen girls only to take part in the event, but teen boys indicated to Cross they needed support as well.
“We’re going to make commitments to life where, number one, being African Americans, we focus on building that generational wealth as well as making sure that our own personal selves are wealthy inside,” Cross said.
Thelma Moton founded Choosing to Excel in 1991 with the goal of walking alongside young people by partnering with schools and community-based organizations. Choosing to Excel helps young people understand the importance of choices and consequences and matches them with mentors and instructors.
Cross is one of those instructors. She garnered national attention on the first day of the 2023-24 school year when NBC’s “Today” featured her reunion with retired principal Yolanda Prim, who encouraged her to pursue a career in education.
“We met with Mrs. Cross, and it fit perfectly with her academics,” Moton said. “This was a vision of both Mrs. Cross and Crystal West, who is my director.”
From there, kids made their own vows, received rings and poured unity sand into a special vase as a commitment of going all-in for their future.
Among the vows recited was one for self-love: “I vow to love myself fully, even on the days I feel unworthy. I vow to treat myself with kindness, grace and compassion. I vow to listen to my needs without guilt or shame. I vow to be my own biggest supporter and gentle guide.”
“Our kids don’t have enough ceremonies, so these kids stepped up to the plate,” Moton said. “There are a lot of kids who go through programs but they make no commitment. These kids chose to make a commitment and Mrs. Cross and Mrs. West wanted to make it special and memorable.”
