Q. I’m a professional in my 50’s. I think I’m experiencing depression. I would like to manage the condition without medication. What are your suggestions?
A. Although exercising is often difficult to do if you are depressed, it may be the key to making you feel better. Start off slowly with walking outside or on a treadmill. If you can afford to join a gym or health club, take their classes. The classes will not only help you to feel better, they will also introduce you to new people. Additionally, find activities that bring you pleasure and make time for them, get involved in a group, and be around people who are positive, active, and caring. Nothing brings us down more than being around someone who is lazy or expects us to do all of the work in a relationship. Get rid of the negative people in your life, and begin to think more about your own goals. If these techniques do not work, you should consult a counselor or psychotherapist and do not rule out the possibility of medication.
Q. I am a 60-year-old female. I work full-time and care for my elderly mother who has dementia. I have a lady who comes in three times a week, but that is not enough, and I can’t pay for more. I feel hopeless and helpless.
A. You are probably experiencing caregiver burnout which happens when there is too much work and too little physical and emotional support. It is important for you to avoid the guilt that often comes with being a long-term caregiver for a loved one. You will have frustrations and anger toward your responsibilities and even toward your mother. Accept these feelings as normal. They do not mean that you are a bad daughter or uncaring person. It is also important that you find someone you trust with whom to share your feelings and frustrations. Many people have been in similar situations, and it will make you feel better to have an empathetic listener. Reach out to others in your family, community, workplace, or church. Ask someone who is retired to stay with your mother for a few hours, to run a few errands, or to prepare a quick meal. Most people are willing to help, but few know what to do. Remember to take time for yourself. Self-time can be something as simple as having lunch with a friend, getting a manicure, or going to a movie. Additionally, try to find a caregiver’s group in your community. Some churches and social service agencies offer them, and most people report that the groups are very helpful and provide needed reassurance that you are not alone.
Q. What is the difference between “the baby blues” and post-partum depression?
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A. Over half of the women who give birth experience “the baby blues” due to hormonal changes. The “blues” is usually characterized by insomnia, crying, increased irritability, and mood swings. This condition usually begins anywhere from the third or fourth day to two weeks after giving birth. The “blues” lasts a week or two and then gradually disappears as hormonal levels stabilize. Post-partum depression is more serious. Over a period of two or three months, the symptoms of the “blues” become more pronounced. These symptoms can include a depressed mood, loss of pleasure, lack of energy, difficulty sleeping even when the baby is asleep, little interest in maternal bonding, and even fear of harming the newborn. If you believe you are experiencing post-partum depression, see your obstetrician and explain your symptoms. There are medications you can take short-term and it often helps to have reassurance that this will pass.
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Nancy Ryburn is a psychologist who teaches psychology at Southeast Arkansas College and maintains a limited private practice in Pine Bluff. If you have questions pertaining to mental health, please e-mail them to drnryburn@gmail.com. The questions will not be answered personally, but could appear in a future column. There will be no identifying information listed with the questions and all e-mails remain confidential.